Michael and I grew up near an ice skating rink, and used to spend hours speeding counterclockwise to Foreigner power ballads, until hourly ice resurfacing sent us out to play a game of Pac Man or Moon Patrol (Ms. Pac Man wasn't even an option yet).
On Friday we found out how different life is at a roller rink. The music's mostly the same, but our four-wheeled cousins have their own culture and rules. Clockwise skating is one of them, but the crucial ones are all wardrobe-related.
Needless to say, when we got the email to come to an authentic roller disco, we were at a loss for what to wear. For himself, Michael invented "urban cowboy leopard spandex prowler." I kept it classy with a white Tony Orlando-inspired ensemble. For a pair of new initiates, we didn't look half bad.
But when we showed up, our friend Courtney showed us how it's supposed to be done. Tube socks, high on the head pigtails, short shorts, glitter makeup and a homemade "Roller Skank" tee shirt. Both she and Erin brought their own white skates, whose snow-white leather didn't betray the miles of smooth basement flooring they had logged in their lifetime. Maggie rocked out with a special-roller-occasion tutu, bright yellow stockings and "Let's Get Physical" headband.
But we hadn't seen Mike yet.
Since Mike grew up a couple of miles from me and Michael, we figured he'd have some wardrobe hesitation too.
He called before he showed up to see if any of us needed wigs. That should have tipped us off. But who besides the members of C+C Music Factory could've guessed this outfit?