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Leaving you, Goodbye.
by Judyth
Yesterday night I took my daughter to the train station to go to her new place in NYC. We left the house 14 minutes before the train was scheduled to leave. That didn't work out well. Even though I sped like a rally driver we got to the station just in time for the gate to drop in front of our car. "No worries", she says, "I'll check the schedule and see. The next one should be along soon." That suits me fine. I say goodbye from inside the car and I drive away. About 20 feet away, that's as far as my heartstrings will let me go.
"Wait", says my head,"what if this is your last goodbye? What if this is the one at childhood's end, the one that she remembers as "Leaving Home"? Aren't you going to hug her? How can you drive away and let her go off to seek her fortune without a kiss on the cheek? Are you ever going to run your fingers through that wheat blond hair again? Wait, " says my head, "what are you doing?"
I park illegally and run back to her at the ticket machine. As I hug her tight, she and I become one again the way we were before she was born and I see all the days of her childhood pouring through her. My little girl has slipped my grip like a handful of water, her time with me as brief as a kiss. And that's all I can do now, brush lightly against her life, send wishes from my own distant star. She's on her way. This is what I've hoped for , it's what every parent hopes for. Independence, good fortune, a life of her own. I kiss her forehead, bless her hands,walk back to my car and drive away.
Not a minute later my phone rings. It's her. She read the schedule wrong, the train is not going to be there for another hour. I dry my tears and turn around.
We go for Pizza.
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