In an effort to share more serious stories from my life, I have decided to include the following tale:
The story begins with my mother and father getting divorced in the fall of 2004. My father had one too many affairs. The latest with a 55-year-old Colombian woman who had a facial lesion that made "moley" from Austin Powers look like a freckle. My brothers and I were disappointed that my father could end 30+ years of marriage for such a woman. I would have been a bit happier if the latest lady were a bit closer in age (or younger) to myself or my little brother. Anyway, my mother decided enough was enough and the divorce became final in Decmber of 2004.
My mother was devastated. She was often tearful and easily upset. She constantly prodded us for details about my father and his Colombian Cartel wife (they got married in September 2005). My mother lives in Nowhere, GA, which is a desert for anyone with a thirst for intelligence. She started to spend time with my uncle (actually, my father's half-brother) who lives about 10 miles away in Nowhereville, GA. One thing led to another, and the two began dating. Initially, I became suspicious when they started to "hang out," but my suspicions were confirmed a mere 3-4 weeks later. Since Spring of 2005, my uncle and mother have been dating happily. He is a divorcee himself, so neither one wants to get married. They are happy to just be spending time together.
My father found out about the relationship in Fall of 2005 shortly after marrying the Colombian. He called me and unloaded his issues for about 2 hours. I felt like an emotional tampon.
Since the divorce, family functions have been a bit difficult (but lots of alcohol always seem to make everything ok). My father doesn't attend Thanksgiving or any other family function for that matter. My oldest brother, very disappointed with my father, has not spoken with him since the initial affair became pseudo-public knowledge. My mother, however, is the happiest I have seen her in 10 years. My wife refers to my uncle Thomas as my "duncle" (a witty combination of the words dad and uncle), and Duncle Thomas is completely accepted by the entire family. Everyone finds it a bit "Springerish" that my mother has connected with her ex-husband's brother, but we all feel he is an excellent replacement for my father.
It was a bit odd when I was at home last year for the weekend, and I had the duties of cooking breakfast. I was frying up some eggs and bacon when Duncle Thomas strolled out of my mom's room wearing a terry cloth robe. His hair was disheveled and the sleep was still in his eyes. He looked at me, poured a cup of coffee, smiled, and asked if I needed any help making breakfast. I said I was ok, and he sat down at the table and we began a pleasant, natural, and unforced conversation. At that point, I knew no one could ask for a better duncle. He has been a natural fixture in the Brown family line-up since.