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Elvis, Tarzan, and True Love.

by Kristin Collins

Chaps Tar Uno

 

Take my hand

Take my whole life too

 

Her inimitable voice trickled over each word, and dances in my memory. I can see her in that giant turquoise Buick on our way to one of our many shopping trips, on the Garden State Parkway. A moment of pause and she might be singing Elvis Presley.

 

..Darling so it goes

Something’s are meant to be…

 

Two nights ago I slept the way a baby might sleep, curled up next to her mother’s warm tummy. I floated out of the depths of hibernation a few times and admired the quality of my rest, without disturbing it. Then, my muscles eased, my eyes gently re-closed, and I drifted back into my sub-conscious wonderland.

 

Overwhelmed by the blasting of melancholic pulses through-out yesterday, at the influx of my pre-menstrual psychosis, last night I tighten up, and squeezed till I could not bring my parts any closer together. Even my breathing was corrupted, and I woke up coughing because of the trick my mind played with visualizing a floating Oz-like face blowing smoke and crowding my lungs. Waking up later on into the darkness that’s clearly haunted with ghosts, ninjas, and killers, I was frozen in bed. Wanting nothing more then to call my grandmother, who would turn on her nurturing I love yous as soon as she sensed my childlike discomfort; then considering phoning Joshua who may or may not respond to my frightened little girlness, I knew that I could not seek relief from anyone but myself.

 

Chaps Tar Dos

 

“I have more love for you in my elbow than any one of those fools in Shanghai…”-Yvonne.

( Yvonne is a great friend, architect, and older sister who lives and works with the Los Angeles elite)

 

The architecture of my flesh and bones is freaking out. I’ve managed to transform myself into a sinewy Rambo-like Maiden of Muscle. It has been called to my attention that I could start carrying around a huge machine gun, but before that step I was considering just wearing camouflage around more often, covering my hair with mud and leaves, and perhaps learning Tarzan mating calls. I might start riding a lion to work, instead of my wimpy bicycle too.  In the process of my development in the land of huge “scary” girls, I’ve screwed up my back, and had to visit a magical body worker for some advice on how to correct my pain. Self diagnosed via internet, I came up with the conclusion that I had a broken rib, but ultimately I tamed it to, a dislocated one. Richard Brown, the master of the universe, with his mega-degree black belt, towering body architecture, and straight forwardness diagnosed my ailes in the following phrase, “You’re all fucked up.” Like a regular Sylvia Brown, Richard, could tell that I did gymnastics, played some racquet sports, about an injury from my past, and even what kind of yoga I practiced the most, all in the revealing autobiography of my muscle development. A gentle massage followed, his adept fingers guiding just the right muscles to relaxation, and he taught me a few exercises to cure the pulled muscle beneath my shoulder blade. Now that my shoulder is better, I’m lucky to report that in an embarrassing lunch, sharing stories of our ridiculous youth, I laughed so hard that I naturally flailed my torso back and forth like a pendulum out of control.  Eventually, with enough powerful jolts, I hurt the front of my body. I must have been slurping air at such a rapid pace to flood my lungs with fresh oxygen in order to support all my snorting, drooling, and flailing that I  broke a rib, disclocated it, or just yanked yet another exausted muscle into submission. 

 

Chaps Tar San

 

”Love makes you bold, makes you bright, makes you run real risks, which you sometimes survive, and sometimes you don't.”- A National Geographic article that I read during lunch one day about the connections between love, obsession, and mental illness.

 

Over lunch with a new friend and fellow Rambo-ite we discussed budding romance, or lack there of, the sensitivity of each casual passing, and the thought obsession that occurs when one magical person crosses paths with our fantasy of intimate human connection. Women, sensitive, to the sensitivity of men, will alter their decisions based on not wanting to seem like we are, “lurking”, too interested, or just simply strange. Unfortunately I think we are generally, lurking, too interested, and definitely strange. I can remember a time when a man, who I was attracted too, complimented the pants I was wearing and I just I stared blankly forward, until maybe 45 seconds later when he finally turned away from me,  I mumbled  a faint “thanks” through my loose lips. In the time it took me to respond, I considered what he said, how cute he was, and finally that I didn’t feel like responding, but that I knew that I should so as to avoid seeming like a weirdo.  Other women will avoid going to the same places that her love interest might attend. Some, tell their lover that they simply hate them and never want to see them again. In China, it isn't rare to compete for a girl who brutalizes you until you either concede or prove to her that your love is authentic in your obvious desperation and commitment to her warfare. A female friend told me today that she’d wait 10 years. She was even happy with just being friends.  Realistically, we count days, save your messages, and recall them to our friends.  We worry about what we looked like when we saw you last, and always think your great even when you wreak of body odor and have shiny red umbros on from 1992. We’re distracted in everything we do because our focus is on our new love. Even when hope is gone, we still have hope. Even when another boy tries to intercept our insane devotion, our minds remain steady on the goal. If we are defeated, it takes months to overcome the loss. We are completely insane, totally interested, and all at once, we are completely in love.






Recently we've been spending a lot of time at a job site, where we designed an "American Colonial Style" interior for a  modernish house. 
This particular photo was taken inside a house whose interior corrosponds with the architecture and Aileen took a picture in the moment that I decided to just chill. 

    

At the second location for a yoga studio in Shanghai, I was given the chance to offer some of my flavor for the renovation.  I'll show the new pics when I have them.



           


    

At an international school here in Shanghai, I got a chance to exchange some sweet lovin with little awesome children and admire their little teeny toilets.  We played games, crawled around on each other, and I got smacked around quite a bit.  It was glorious, and smile-rific.



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"Kristin, we spend a lifetime trying to "become" who we will become. A 2-sentence story appeared on commontales today called "Becoming." It seems to me to be what life is all about. After all these years I am still afraid there won't be someone there to catch me when I take a chance and forge into unknown territory, but there is always someone ready with arms outstretched. Sometimes the person who catches me happens to be someone I never expected. The Head Start program in Tennesse that sent "Becoming" sent another story last week that made me think immediately of you. The program titled it "Learning to Leap." Talk about learning to leap. You are making it look almost effortless. You are learning to leap in Shainghai for goodness sake. You make us "chickens" feel a bit braver. Keep on leaping. P.S. I fixed the garage door and all the outdoor electrical gadgetry after someone else (who shall remain anonymous) discovered the joys of washing the deck, the car, the driveway, and finally the outdoor bug light with a power washer and knocked out half the power in the house for 3 days."

by Beth Kane