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The Dusting of Poppy

by Laurie Montano

When I was living in Albany, NY as a med student, my boyfriend and I drove to Virginia for the weekend. He had just lost his grandmother and was attending the services. I had never met her, so I stayed the weekend with Nanny and Poppy instead while he spent time with his family. At the end of the weekend, he was coming by Nanny and Poppy's condo to pick me up, and he was coming upstairs to meet them.



Nanny had a reputation in our family for being rather particular about her housekeeping, and liked it to be tidy at all times. The example I like to use when I tell others, is that she developed varicose veins in her legs purely from ironing. Some joked that when they went to visit her they were afraid to get up in the night to use the bathroom, because they might come back to find the bed made. We affectionately nick-named her "The White Tornado", which either referenced her white hair, or the white-ness/cleanliness she left behind, I'm not really sure which.

When David was on his way over to meet them, she had already been around the condo living room several times dusting the coffee table, fluffing the couch pillows, etc. While this was happening, Poppy and I sat in the living room reading, waiting for David to arrive. Poppy was in his red satin high backed chair sitting comfortably with a book in his lap and his legs crossed. On one of her final inspection rounds she paused in front of Poppy's feet and looked down at his loafers in horror! A small island of dust had gathered on the toe of each loafer, just beneath the tassles. In an instant, Nanny bent down and with the wave of the tissue in her hand, the offending particles were removed, and she was gone again, moving on to search out the next area of potentially hidden lint, dirt, or dust. Poppy barely glanced up from his book, peering over his reading glasses breifly, and then shrugged and went back to reading. I stiffled a giggle as I walked to answer the doorbell. I had just witnessed a touchdown of the White Tornado.

In loving memory of our Nanny and Poppy. I think of them often and miss them very much.

Comments

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"She developed varicose veins from ironing!?!?! HA!! I never knew that :) Great story - thanks so much :) Also, did you see the portraits we started for Nanny and Poppy? You can get to them by searching for "kane" in the top bar. Portraits are the new feature we just added where people can make a scrapbook of memories about a particular person."

by Michael Kane 

"Nanny liked to bring the young women in the family, "along." She taught us what we needed to know to be good wives and mothers (I know you are a good wife and are just a few months from being a good mother. For my 1968 graduation from college, when I was newly engaged to Uncle Artie (about 3 weeks), Nanny and Poppy gave me a 14K gold bangle bracelet. It was a "stunner!" I was very surprised and happy. I never had any good jewelry. My mother always frowned on expensive jewelry because it was never affordable in my family. Anyway, about 20 years later, Artie gave me another gold bangle bracelet for our anniversary. I didn't know how to tell him I already had one, so I told Nanny about this potentially "sticky" situation. With a wave of her hand, she looked at me and said, "Nonsense, the more the merrier; wear them both." And so, I did-- and I do. I feel less decadent than the first 25 times I wore them together. Then I think of Nanny and her advice, and I smile. She really did love me like a daughter (even either one of us was being a pain in the neck [we took turns]). Thank God for yor Mom, Aunt Beth, and Tanta. Nanny and I worked on our relationship for 35 years until her death. It turned out to be a relationship that made both of us better people. That's not bad for a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. Pretty funny to think about it now, but her whole goal was to make me a better person If it killed us both--and it very nearly did on more than one occasion. In the end, it worked. I am a better person for Nanny and I think she learned [bargello] from me."

by Beth Kane 

"I added this photo with the help of Michael, and on the back in Nanny's perfect penmanship it reads, "Nanny's 82nd Birthday with Eileen's flowers". The two of them always looked so sharp! In her 80s Nanny was losing her vision to macular degeneration, and Poppy was losing his hearing and hated to wear his hearing aids. He used to say "You be my ears and I'll be your eyes.""

by Laurie Montano 

"I just read your latest comment, Laurie . . that's a sweet and charming quote to remember. It sounds like Poppy."

by Michael Kane 

"Nanny was certainly the perfectionist in her family. Uncle Danny, her brother, had a beautiful voice, played the piano, and was very handsome. He married the wrong woman, and when he tried to combat his addiction to alcohol, she was no help. Nanny was the second child. She excelled in school, and was a big help to her mother, who was remembered as Mama, until the day she died. Auntie, being the last in birth order, was the pet of the family. She had her mother's wonderful sense of Irish humor. She told us the story of her mother sponsoring "greenhorns" from Ireland. Aunt Julie was one of these greenhorns. She stayed on the third floor of their three family house in Brooklyn. Aunt Julie used to play her Irish records over and over. One day, Auntie had had it. When Aunt Julie was gone, she took all of her records and threw them off of the back porch. Broken into smithereens, they were forever destroyed. When Grandma Sheehan found about about this, according to Auntie, she got the walloping of her life. In looking back, I think my mother had the burden of being the one in the family who lived up to her parent's expectations. No doubt she was the perfectionist. At times, the Irish humor showed through. But my mother was the one who demanded first rate academic performance, and who imprinted this goal upon us. My father, too, joined her in tutoring us and being sure we knew our math, while my mother focused on English, diagraming sentences, spelling, etc. We were fortunate to have thier coaching throughout our childhood and adolescence."

by Eileen Montano